(Note: A special thought from William Tolman’s daughter, Loretta Tolman Thuesen, “One thing I remember about dad is when he said the family prayer, I was afraid to open my eyes because I was sure the Savior would be standing there. I never could figure out why I was so lucky to have him for a father.” Following is a tribute given by Loretta on tape to father at his retirement.)
I have so very many special memories of you it is hard to know where to start. I am grateful for this opportunity to tell you how very much I love you. One of the earliest things I remember about you is your ability to find all kinds of jobs for your children to do. I remember picking up rocks in the field in Spanish Fork. I was about 5 or 6 then. I know you re-landscaped our yard in Provo every summer, just to keep us busy.
I remember getting up at the crack of dawn and working several hours before breakfast and then working on until evening. Then you would say, you can play all the rest of the night, but remember we get up at 5:00 the next morning. Of course, we were too tired to play very long. When you would get up on those early mornings and wake us up you would always say, “Arise and shine. I never could understand how you could be so happy about getting up so early when the sun wasn’t even up yet.
I want you to know, Dad, how very grateful I am that you taught me to work. It has been a great blessing to me in my married life. I am so grateful you cared enough to keep me busy as I grew up. I’m grateful you taught me obedience at an early are. I remember questioning you on different situations when you told me, no. I wanted always to have an explanation as to why I couldn’t do something. You would tell me that I didn’t need a reason, that I needed to learn obedience. I can never tell you how very much this has helped me. I know I am able to follow the commandments and teachings of the Lord better because of the way you taught me obedience. Whenever I had a problem or question you made sure that you found the time to help me. If you were real busy and unable to talk to me when I went to you, you always set up a time and place that we could talk. There has never been a time in my life that I didn’t know you cared about me and loved me. Even now when I am so far away in miles, I feel so close to you in spirit. Your love for your children has always been unselfish and unconditional.
I love the memories of the way you treated my mother. I always thought your marriage was special and beautiful. You have always shown so much love and respect for your wife. I can never recall a time when you have spoken unkind to her. I used to sit outside your door at night, when I was little, and hear you and mom say your prayers and then kiss each other goodnight. I can’t express in words the warm feeling it gave to me. It is a special feeling to know that your parents love each other very much. I used to hear and read stories about the great love that President David O. Mckay had for his wife. I always have felt that your love for mom was just like that.
One of the most valuable things you taught me was to accept everyone as my brother. I can remember the many people that you would bring into our home and how kind you were to everyone that you were around. I can’t remember ever talking unkindly about people in our home. You believed the words often spoken, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.” You told me that I didn’t have the right to tell someone a bad or unpleasant thing about another person, even if it was true. You said that person should have the right to form his own opinion of another person. It has been easy for me to accept others into my home because of your example. It’s very hard for me to be away at Christmas time. You always made Christmas come alive. It didn’t matter if we had a lot or very little. The spirit of Christmas was always the same in our home. You always got so excited and believed in the spirit of Santa Claus. You really made Christmas special for your children. I hope I can make Christmas as special for my children as you made it for us. I can remember the times you took us children to Walt Disney movies. Fifteen years ago we used to go to a drive-in movie for a dollar per car. Mother used to make up hamburgers with barbeque sauce and we would have a fantastic evening. You always took the time to show your children how special they were. I remember going out for hamburgers lots of times. I know many times you didn’t have the money, but you always felt it was important that your children knew that they were well accepted and well loved. Remember the good root beer and fresh made donuts that we used to get at the spudnut shop. You always made me feel part of the family and you made every special little thing always exciting and a lot of fun. I remember the special family nights that we used to always have. But we always held family council and decided how to budget the family money and what things we could do as a family to help one another.
You had such a special way of disciplining me. You only spanked me twice that I can remember. Whenever I did something wrong you had a unique way of talking to me and helping me to see my fault. You could look at me and read me like a book. During some of our “little talks” I wished you would beat me, because you really had the ability to help me search my soul. It’s real hard to search someone’s soul and realize the mistake one is making. All the times you talked to me and disciplined me I always knew that you loved me and cared about me and that you disciplined me and talked to me the way you did to help me to grow properly, so that I could return to my Father in Heaven. Thank you for loving me so much and never giving up on me. Most of all, Dad, thank you for all the heartache, tears, sleepless nights, and prayers you went through so I could grow up right and find my companion for time and all eternity. It was all worth it, Dad. I am so grateful you kept helping me overcome mistakes I was making. I could have never been worthy of my special mate without the help and guidance of you and my mother. I’m grateful for the example you set as the patriarch of your home and for your belief in prayer. Thank you, Dad, for being all that you are and making me all that I am. May the Lord be good to you, Dad. I love you so very much and wish you many years of happiness. This is your baby girl, Loretta Tolman Thueson, speaking to the special guy in my life, My Dad.
(Contributed by the Thomas Tolman Family Organization. Excerpt from William Odell Tolman: Patriarch, Genealogist, Teacher compiled by Loraine Tolman Pace, First Edition, 2009, page 534-535).
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