I was honored to be asked to share a few things at Lova’s funeral. I shared a bit of her life and memories each of her grandchildren had. I felt her grandchildren might like to remember what they said.
May 29, 1919 Cliff Tolman went to California to look at land and was impressed. The next day the crops in Idaho froze and that cemented the decision to move his family to California. That year on December 30, 1919 Lova Mae Tolman was born. Cliff had served a mission in Indiana and that is where this unusual name came from. Lova, luva, nova…blessing or curse, she was remembered. With the tweak of one letter Lova became Lora and Barbara’s youngest daughter was named.
From California to Salt Lake and 4 years found the Tolman family back in Idaho. As a child, a family incident occurred, which took Lova’s left eye. She told stories of walking to school and having her glass eye crack. This eye proved to be very useful when napping with children. She slept soundly, left eye partially open and the kids didn’t dare move.
When her mother, Goldie, had heart problems, Lova took over. Her siblings would forever tease her about her sage brush gravy. The cooking was done with a sage brush fueled fire. Ashes came up and landed in, flavoring the gravy. A family joke was born.
Lova’s Aunt Inez taught her to play the piano. Cliff, her father, was well known for his singing voice and together they covered the valley as she accompanied him. She began her career at 12 or 13. Whether you like math or not, that equals a lot of years of playing the piano. She honed her craft with Mrs. Belini from Twin Falls. She studied the organ under Roy Darley. She passed the legacy of music on to many, many young people.
After graduating from High School, Lova moved to Twin Falls and cleaned houses. One client she liked to tell of was the Oaks family. Their son, Dallin H was born after the family moved to Salt Lake. Sometimes as we would drive through the older part of Twin, she would say things like “that’s where I would walk to get an ice cream, or “that’s where such and such was. By foot, she explored Twin Falls and loved it.
Around 1941, Lova carried on the family tradition, following both her mother and father in serving an LDS mission. She spent most of her time in Arkansas. Not only did she teach the gospel, she met one Earl Robert Watts. After they both came home, Earl proposed 3-4 times by letter. Lova declined 2-3 times by letter. Finally in 1943 they were married in the Logan Temple and Lova Mae Tolman became Lova M Watts.
After a brief stint in California they moved to the family farm in Murtaugh. Stanford Glenn was born while in California. Once in Idaho he was joined by Douglas Earl, Rita, Kelly Wayne, Barbara, Jeffrey Karl and Melanie. This family of nine lived and thrived while working together. All helped, including Lova with the milking of the cows and raising the crops. Lova loved to name the cows and until 1976 when she “retired” from the barn, each cow had a name and she knew their personality. Lova loved her flowers and her garden and spent many hours tending, weeding, watering and then preserving the harvest.
Church and music were mainstays in her life. Service is how she was taught and the way she raised her family. Music was in her bones. Those fingers, which cooked and canned, milked and served, loved to fly over the piano keys. Scales were a daily exercise and it proved successful, because they were limber and agile to the very end. She loved every aspect of music. Singing under her direction in ward choir caused goose bumps to those in the choir and those listening. She lovingly caressed the organ for many sacrament meetings, adding to and strengthening the Spirit felt within these walls. Her last and maybe favorite love was primary. She loved the songs, the children, the teachers… everything. She felt needed and loved there. The first week of her illness I asked her one day what she was thinking about. “How to feel better…and how to get to Church Sunday to play for Primary.” The children and leaders made her a poster that hung on her wall both at home and at Alpine. She wanted it in her direct line of vision.
Lova loved life and life mostly loved her. She had some big bumps in her road when first, Rita and then Barbara beat her home. I can’t imagine the reunion and the laughter going on. Another bump was some medical problems she had a few years ago. But her pioneering attitude didn’t fail her and she tuffed her way through it, coming back and showing us all up. She never felt old or “her age”. We would go to town and she would feel bad for “that little old lady over there.” After Earl died, she maintained her independence and continued to live on her own. Jeff was a constant but she did most things for herself. She started to be quite tired this summer. She just couldn’t get her strength up. Then about six weeks ago, several things happened and her heart just decided it was tired. Now, I didn’t say Lova was, just her heart. “She” was going to get better. Hospice was called and two wonderful women came into Lova’s life. Pam and Heidi helped us help her. Lova remained gracious and congenial through all of our stumbling. As we took turns staying with and helping her, she made it easy for us to serve her. Many friends and ward members came through her doors the last weeks of her life. She has influenced too many people to name. And always in her heart were her primary children. After several severe falls, it was decided she would be safer with better care. Elaine and others at Alpine became new friends. Lova remained lucid and alert and taught everyone until the very end. Quietly and without fanfare, Lova was called home in the early hours of September 10 2010.
Lova is on a new journey now. BOTH of her eyes are seeing wonders. She’s reunited with loved ones. Her crown is full of jewels. A big part of Lova’s life was her family and anyone who entered her home had no doubt about what she was proudest of. Pictures covered every space. Each child and grandchild added glory to her crown. But there is a special bond shared between a grandma and her grandchildren. Starting with the oldest I’d like to share with you, what they loved and remembered about their grandma
Tina
When I see Iris’, daises and raspberries I always remember the many, many hours we spent in the garden together, laughing and talking and just enjoying time with one another. Also time spent in the kitchen with bread dough up to our elbows while Grandma was making her yummy home made bread. When I am involved in service, I always think of my grandma and the many hours of service she rendered for others but most of all the hours of service she did for me. She has taught me so much by loving me and being an example to me. She taught me about honesty, integrity, patience, and to love my Heavenly Father and Jesus. When ever I hear a piano I think of all the hours we spent at the piano. I remember just begging her to teach me how to play and she would say ” not until you are eight years old.” On my eighth birthday I had my first piano lesson. I remember running up and saying “today grandma” and of coarse she obliged. She spent many hours teaching me how to “make the piano sing”. I will be forever grateful for her helping me achieve that talent. She will always hold a special place in my heart.
Tracy
The words that come to mind when I think of grandma are: teacher, musician, endurance, faithful servant, and a great cook. I loved staying with her as a child and eating at her house between Sunday school and sacrament when we had the split schedule. She did everything with love.
Jana
5 am raspberry picking adventures
Learned a lot of life lessons during these pickings
Grandma was always very upbeat and positive. She even made 5 am not seem so early.
Making bread with Grandma
We always enjoyed playing in & eating the dough
There was nothing better than a warm slice of Grandma’s bread with her homemade raspberry jam.
Canning
We spent many a summer in Grandmas kitchen canning corn, peaches, apples, beans…you name it we canned it and had so much fun.
Poor Grandma tried everything, and I mean everything including bribery to get me to play the piano. I learned a little, but kick myself often for not sticking with it.
I will always remember the love and service Grandma showed to everyone that she came in contact with. You couldn’t go to her house or talk to her on the phone that she didn’t make you feel like the most important person in the world. I am very grateful for the wonderful example she was. Grandma I will always love you!
Amy
We all love the quilts that she made for graduation. I still have mine to this day. It is a little worse for wear but I love it. The boxes of oranges when they were is AZ. Treats from the refrigerator and always having ice cream. Her playing the organ for the church. The food storage room and how she could always tell you right where things are. Most of all she wanted to know what was up with us and cared about what we were doing. She is where we gained our love of raspberry jam too. She had a huge patch. I loved her daisies and took a start to grow for myself.
Stanley
Her big wave and smile and her positive attitude
Joni
Thoughtful..she remembered every birthday, waffles, raspberry jam, flannel quilts. I still have mine. Her coin purse to spend at the little store, back rubs, her storage room…full, but she knew where everything was,
Nancy Our family always loved grandmas backrubs and waffles in the morning. I personally was always amazed, even in the last months, that she could send me down to the basement to find something and she could tell me exactly where it was. If I had to pick words I would say she was a strong woman while at the same time she was loving. It was always interesting how in difficult times and conversations she would give me a look or just a word to know that everything was ok and that she loved me. I remember as a young child going to church with her and the new surroundings were made easy because she was with us and was usually playing for primary. She always made us feel welcome. On the way to a wedding some friends and I stayed with Grandma they all still talk about how warm and welcoming she was. They also ask if she still stocks the freezer full of treats! I remember how cool I thought it was that when we sent them letters we only had to put their name because she worked at the post office. (it also might have been because Murtaugh is small?
I guess a lot of this comes down to what a good homemaker and grandma she was. We still love to make homemade bread because of her and raspberry jam can’t be eaten without thinking of her.
Janel
I never heard her raise her voice, say an unkind word, criticize another or complain. Those qualities are amazing to me! My mom would tell me that she never heard her parents argue…imagine our world if more homes were like that! I have so many loving memories of her…as a little girl I would sit on her lap and she would read me stories and sing to me. In my mind I can still hear her sing “Jack and Jill” and read to me “Are You My Mother?” She later gave that book to my children. She has been a source of strength to me my entire life, in word and deed, and given me the encouragement to press forward, to endure, to do what I came here on this earth to do. Words that come to my mind are… righteous, gracious, devoted, loving, loyal, hopeful, strong, steadfast, encouraging, lovely. What reminds me of her.. Good Food! She was often praised in the Hadlock home for her good cooking! RASPBERRIES..I taste them and think of grandma’s house to this very day & probably forever, green beans..we picked, snapped & canned them every summer with grandma, ice cream treats, candy bars, soda, hostess pastry treats…Grandma’s house was a kids dream, literally we were “kids in a candy store”. Birthday cards, Flannel tied quilts, Church, Hymns, Piano, the Boise Temple, General Conference…we went to visit nearly every Sunday of General Conference to watch with grandpa & grandma. They loved the gospel & I knew it!
Christopher
Family Oriented. Loving/Kind/Caring. Stubborn. Tuff. Three things that I will always remember her for: 1. Schwans chicken sandwiches on bread that she kept in the freezer, Candy bars in the fridge/freezer, 2. Everything that she did for my mother while she was sick and how I never heard her complain that it was an inconvenience to go all the way to Mexico, even though she knew it would not save her life., 3.Never letting me forget how much my mother loved me and how much she fought to stay alive.
Ladd
I remember how she joked and made me laugh, always with a smile on her face and her kindness. I remember of all things breakfast at her house on summer vacations. Feeding the calves and coming in to sausage eggs waffles bacon. Seems silly and overly simple I guess but those memories are quite vivid to me.
Teresa
Schwans ice cream, warm quilts. Raspberry jam, patient, that’s life! Tough as nails, loving, tender, back and foot rubs, warm hugs, playing the piano, always speaking kindly of others, gardener, mother of many cats,
Ryan
Mine are a duplicate of Emily’s. With the addition of always having a hot meal…3 times a day.
Brandon
When I think of Grandma Watts I think of summer on the farm, waffles and a freezer stocked with treats from the Schwan man. When I was in grade school I would always look forward to coming and spending a week on the farm with Grandma and Grandpa. Each morning I would try to peel myself off the mattress to go and feed the calves with Jason, Robert and Chad and afterwards I loved sitting down at Grandma’s table for a HUGE breakfast that was usually highlighted with her waffles. The recipe is probably not that difficult but I have tried many times in my adult years to recreate them but for some reason I can’t seem to get them just the way I remember them…she must have had a special touch. Throughout those days, in between board games with her or helping her pick raspberries from her raspberry patch or picking beans in the field with her, she would always offer something out what seemed to be a bottomless freezer full of goodies. I guess it’s kind of embarrassing that most of my memories with her involved some form of food, but I guess she understood that the way to a boy’s heart is through his stomach. I honestly don’t remember much from the summer’s when I was that age, with the exception of those weeks in Murtaugh
Emily
I remember her paying me a quarter a note to learn to read the Bass notes on the piano. I remember her having lemon drops in her purse. I always think of her when I see a dried banana chip. I remember whenever she would visit Washington she would buy the largest tub of vanilla ice cream for us and we were allowed to eat as much as we wanted. She would also buy all the fixings including my favorite roasted peanuts. I remember always getting a treat out of the freezer. I remember loving to get a box of oranges every winter from them.
Jason
I think of the following words: Music.Work. Flowers. Raspberries. Peanuts (treats). Love for Children especially Grand-kids & Great Grand-kids. I remember Grandma always at the piano at home and at church. I remember Grandma working hard – in the kitchen (I remember the smell of fried chicken every Sunday afternoon), in the yard, in the garden and occasionally (not so much during my lifetime) on the farm. I remember how much Grandma loved beautiful flowers. I remember picking Raspberries with Grandma. I remember all the sweets in her house – from pop to candy bars, from jolly ranchers to peanuts. I remember Grandma’s walls always being filled with pictures especially of her family.
I also remember being very impressed that my grandma had been a missionary – especially during a time in history when it probably wasn’t the most common choice for a woman. I always knew Grandma Watts loved me. From her time spent bringing slush to us in the shop, her nursing smashed thumbs and burns with band-aids and aloe-vera plants, her hugs, her loving correction through music “Let us all speak kind words to each other”, to her writing letters while I was on my mission.
Later in life she was always interested in my children. Our conversations always turned to them. I also remember being on my hospital rotation for Pharmacy School while she was in the hospital with her ulcer. It was a unique situation where I got to visit every day and take a moment to check on her. I know she always remembered that experience – because she always would remind me of the experience.
Scott
I would say Grandma’s charisma….smile and laugh. She had a picture in the hallway as you walked toward the bathroom, “SMILE,” that it what comes to mind when I think of Grandma.
Robert
Piano, Unity, Forgiveness, Family, Love, Centered
Preston
All the goodies in the freezer. Frozen snickers to be exact.. I also think of her great quilts. I still use one to this day. The best blankets ever.
Kurt
humorous
resilient
attentive
happy
supportive
sweet tooth I get it from my mom who got it from her!
green thumb…like grandpa too
artist
well read…at least lots of reader’s digest books
chicken patty..they were my favorite and she used to always make them for me
involved. She always kept up on my life, even when I didn’t see her often, Even at the end.
musician..she played the piano and organ all those years. My mom learned cause of her and so have me and all my siblings.
Lora
I think of kindness. I don’t think I ever heard Grandma raise her voice and even if she didn’t really like someone she always tried to only say kind words about them. Next is music, for obvious reasons. Grandma always loved it when I would bring my music over and play for her. When we would go pick raspberries or can beans, she was always humming a song. Last, Schwann’s chicken patties, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, and Hostess pies. She always had on hand what mom would never let us buy!! We would sneak food out and hide it under the seat in the car to take it home without mom knowing. I’m sure grandma always knew that we did that! 🙂
Chad
back rubs
raspberries
Katelyn
One line sayings that rhyme (ex. chew, chew, chew your food, gaily through the meal. The more you chew the less you eat, the better you will feel. Waffles, CANDY!, Grandma Blankets, Raspberries, Laughs, Piano, love, birthday cards with cash!, work, prayers, temple work, and homemade bread.
Kira
When I think of Grandma I think Candy Bars! Other words that come to mind, piano, Cats (she would always take care of the cats and she’d let me help sometimes)
Laura
letting me help her cook.
watching her play the organ at church.
strong hands.
white sauce mac and cheese.
eating onions like apples.
the flowers along the walk way – the purple hyacinths and orange California poppies
Arizona.
she loved loved loved movies.
walking in and hearing her playing the piano.
her unusual singing voice.
wind chimes. stretching tapes, every morning.
bossy.
quietly stubborn
talented, cheery, enjoyed being in the know) 🙂
hard headed,loving, serving, generous. dominos, rumikube and apple trees.
She called me “Dolly”
Was Lova perfect? I don’t suppose so, but to each of her 24 grandchildren she was the perfect grandma.
And in what turned out to be her last evening, she said something I’d like to share with each of you. She had had many visitors. With her breathing short, I’d given her some medicine that eased her breathing but also made her sleepy. After everyone left and I took her hand, I leaned in to say good night. With her eye looking into mine she whispered, I love you…I love you…I love you. Her voice faded saying those three words. I left with the firm knowledge that she was saying those three words to each of you. I love you…I love you…I love you.
May we always know, no matter what is going on in our life, we have a mom, a grandma, a sister, a friend who loves us.
She loves you, she loves you, she loves you….
Kelli Watts (daughter-in-law)
16 September 2010
Visit FamilySearch to learn more about Lova Mae Tolman and other ancestors. Also visit the Thomas Tolman Family Organization to find out how you can get more involved in family history.