· 19 November 2013 ·
REMEMBRANCES OF ADELE FROM HER FAMILY
Glenna
I’ll always remember my mother as one of the kindest, most loving people that ever lived. I never remember her raising her voice or getting angry at anyone. I know there were times she worried about some of the things I was doing but she tried to counsel me and encourage me to be the best person I could be. She never became angry at me. She was a stay at home mom, which I really appreciated. She was always there for us when we needed her. She was always willing to give of herself to others.
I remember she and Daddy used to make things for us for Christmas. I remember they made us a darling kitchen set out of orange crates which Geraldine and I loved to play with. She made dolls and doll clothes. I knew we would always have a wonderful Christmas even though Momma and Daddy didn’t have a lot of money to spend.
I remember we used to make Momma a corsage for Mother’s Day. We used flowers from the garden. I think we used everything from iris to roses to anything else we had in the garden. I can imagine what some of them looked like. Momma always gave us a love and told us how much she liked the corsage and she wore it to church on Mother’s Day. Many of the mothers had fancy orchids or other flowers but we thought our mom had the most beautiful corsage of all.
When we took a trip to Yellowstone we were having a hard time finding a camping place. Daddy and Geraldine and I went looking for a spot while Mom and the boys and JoAnne waited for us to come back. It started to rain and when we got back Momma and the others were under a ledge and Momma was crying. Everyone was all wet. Soon we were back in the car and on our way. We had such wonderful vacations as a family. I’ll never forget the times we had together.
When I met Larry Mom was so wonderful to him. She always made him feel welcome in our home. Sometimes when we got home late he would sleep down the basement. He felt a part of our family from the start. He told me once how special Momma made him feel. She told him she always felt welcome in our home because Larry was so sweet to her.
I was lucky enough to have my mom help me when my two oldest children were born. When Cory was born it was my day to go in and wash clothes at her house. She had Larry bring all our clothes while he took me to the hospital. She washed and folded everything for us. When I came home she was there to help me with Cory. She got up at night so I could rest, cooked dinner, cleaned house and all the special things mothers do. Momma was always willing to tend Cory for us. We had lots of built in baby sitters. When Lori was born Momma was there to help again. Lori had an awful cry that drove her dad (Larry) nuts. Momma was so worried about Larry and tried very hard to keep Lori happy and content. As my children grew older Mom was always there for them. She stopped what she was doing when we would come to visit. She read stories to them and played the piano and sang with them. She was always there for those special occasions such as blessings, baptisms and birthdays. My children knew my mother loved them and I also knew she loved me. Larry and I always felt that she also knew Jeff in heaven and that she took special care of him before he joined our family.
When Momma had her stroke I had the privilege of take care of her. I was so glad I was in a position to spend that time with her. She had such a special spirit and seldom complained about her problems. She always appreciated the things I did for her such as buying hamburgers at the Dairy Queen for lunch and washing her hair. Sometimes I was a little late and she was very nervous about being alone. I felt so bad when that happened.
I was also glad that Cory and Lori had the chance to be in Momma’s Sunday School class. She touched the lives of so many children. I learned so much about teaching from her. I still use some of the visual aids from those years with my class at school. I especially love the story “Ask Mr. Bear”. I use her large cutouts when I tell the story at school. I also use her “Two Little Eyes” and “If You Chance to Meet a Smile” visual aids when we have music time.
I loved my mother and am so glad she set such a wonderful example for all of us. I remember how upset I was when she died because Larry and I had not been sealed in the temple. Four years after she died we had that special privilege of going to the temple as a family. I know she was with us even though we couldn’t see her. We were there because of her loving influence on my family and especially on Larry. We will never know how many lives she touched because of the shining example she set for all of us.
Geraldine
I remember many, many things about our mother. It was nice to have her home when I went to home for lunch during much of my elementary school years. I remember entering the house and calling “I’m home.” She always answered and had lunch ready. She helped us get off to school every day, prepared lunches when needed, and greeted us when we came home. She cared about our lives, how our day went, and meeting our needs.
She gave me a birthday party one year before the living room was made into one big room. I must have been 11 or 12. I can’t remember for sure. She prepared some creative games for us to play at the party. I remember that the party was a success.
She and Daddy were always willing to be chaperones for parties during college and at the cabin during high school. She was always pleasant and helpful even though she was probably having some pain or discomfort from her arthritis.
I taught with Momma in Junior Sunday School for several years, but I can’t remember how many. She never used a manual during the lesson. She believed in having the lessons with the stories, finger plays, and songs memorized. She used to tell me that it bothered her when other teachers that helped her had to use the manual. As I recalled I tried not to use the manual when teaching with her. She only got upset once during the time that I taught with her and that was with Timmy Lunt. He just couldn’t seem to sit still and do what he was asked to do. She was usually so soft spoken and patient. Another time I recall that I read something about her teaching at Fort Douglas. She said tat there were some hard to handle students that she wasn’t very pleased with or something to that effect. I thought that she never had trouble with students. She always seemed to be such a perfect teacher.
I remember when she could play the piano before her fingers got so bent. She played well. I like to hear her play and teach us songs. She used to take walks with Glenna and me, I assume in strollers, because she told me we would go to visit Grandma and Grandpa Tolman and Grandmere and Grandpere, too, if I’m remembering correctly. I have walked home to 1211 Princeton Avenue from the U before so I know it’s possible to walk the distance.
Glen
Things I remember about my Mother:
-She helped Byron and me with Cub scouts in getting the various badges (arrow points and grades). We wouldn’t have had the success and participation without her help. -She attended our Church Sports activities. I especially remember that she rarely missed our church games during Junior High School and High School. She played every week through the summer and more often during tournament times. I really appreciated her being there.
-I remember that getting her Junior Sunday School room ready for Sunday was a family activity. We went to the chapel each Saturday to arrange the room. Since there was not a ward library then our basement was full of all kinds of materials for the classes. This room was on the second floor in the chapel and when Momma was in a wheelchair, Dad had the responsibility of getting her up and down the stairs.
-We had many family activities that revolved around Momma’s extended family (our grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins). We got together at Grandmere and Grandpere’s for Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving, and once a month (I believe on Fast Sunday) to celebrate birthday’s. We also spent many summer holidays and weekends at the cabin in Millcreek Canyon.
-I remember how challenging it was for her to perform routine tasks with her arthritis. She never gave up and did all she could around the house. It took a while each morning for her to get “limbered up” as she called it. One significant event that I remember was that when I left on my mission in June 1967 she was in a wheelchair and she said that she wanted to be able to walk when I came home. When the family got me at the airport in December of 1969 she was able to walk.
-Momma faithfully wrote me at least once a week while I was on my mission in Tahiti. I really appreciated receiving her letters full of news from home and encouragement for me. I especially enjoyed getting tape recordings from time to time as there was no way to communicate via telephone as there is now when missionaries can call home on special occasions.
Momma was an inspiration to me. I wish that my girls would have been able to know her during earth life. It is easy for me to remember what year it was when she passed away as it was a month before our oldest daughter Kimberly was born on July 10, 1973.
To end I want to relate the experience that occurred to Lynne and me at the time of Momma’s passing. I had accepted a job with Ford Motor company in Detroit and was in route to Detroit via automobile when Momma died. We stopped by to say goodbye to Momma and Dad just before we departed and Momma seemed to be in better shape than she had been in weeks previous. We left our general itinerary and had planned on staying in Omaha or Lincoln Nebraska the second night of our trip but had not prearranged any hotel reservations. Late at night around 1:00 a.m. we received a phone call from Lynne’s dad letting us know that Momma had died. This was only the second hotel he had called that night. It was a miracle in my mind that he was able to find us. We continued on to Detroit, which took a couple of days, and I flew back to Salt Lake. Lynne stayed in Michigan, as she was eight and a half months pregnant with Kim.
I feel that Momma stayed around long enough to make sure that all of her children were married and had a good start in life.
Byron
In thinking back to my first recollections of Mom, I remember a very caring mother who was always there for me. I know that I was the problem child of the family. I probably gave Mom more grief than the rest of the children combined. But even though I gave her the grief I know she still loved me because I could feel it radiate through her. I know she told me she loved me, but I don’t remember the words, I remember the deeds.
I can remember Mom helping me with my times tables and ensuring me I wasn’t stupid even though I knew I was. She would help me for hours and helped me to start believing in myself. I never became the “A” student that the rest of the children were, but I knew that if I tried my best that that was good enough for Mom. She was very patient with me and knew that if she let me know that I wouldn’t fail then I wouldn’t fail. I can remember having bad dreams, and going downstairs and getting into bed with Mom and Dad and how secure I felt when Mom would hold me in her arms and reassure me that everything would be all right. I know Dad didn’t want me in bed with them, but Mom knew that I was really scared and she let me stay in bed until I had settled down and felt like I could return to my own bed.
When I got into trouble, which was often, Mom would talk to me and let me know what I had done was wrong. I never remember her giving me a spanking, but I’m sure she wanted to. There was one time I can remember that Glen and I had done something extra bad (I can’t remember what it was), but Mom wanted us to come to her and we knew she was mad enough to give us a spanking so we wouldn’t come to her because in her crippled state we knew she couldn’t catch us, so we just kept out of reach until she finally gave up and told us that when Dad got home we could catch Holy Heck. Well when Dad got home she had calmed down and we just got a talking to. But I still remember how bad I felt when I knew she was mad enough to kill us and we wouldn’t let her near us. I can remember we made her cry and that was more of a punishment than any thing because I knew I had hurt the one person who really loved me.
I can never remember Mom when she wasn’t crippled with arthritis. She always walked with a limp and her hands were always gnarled, but to me she was beautiful. I still remember to this day how bad I felt when I was in the third grade and one of the boys asked me if the woman who looked like a witch was my Mom. I never thought she looked like a witch and it really hurt my feelings. I know Mom was self-conscious about her crippled condition, but there was nothing she could do about it and to me she was my mother and she loved me and that’s all that mattered to me.
I remember well the many years Mom spent teaching Junior Sunday School. I can remember going to the church on Saturdays and helping her set up her room. She spent countless hours preparing her lessons and making visual aids to go along with the lessons. I still remember the day when Mom called me in Manhattan, Kansas, and with tears in her eyes told me she had been released from her teaching calling because of her health. I think that really broke her spirit. Until then she had something to push her to keep her busy, but when she could not teach those little kids anymore that was devastating to her.
Mom always supported me in my Church ball games (basketball, softball, and volleyball). Even though she may not have attended them all she attended most of them, and it was important to me to know that she wanted to be there.
When I got older Mom always let me make my own decisions. She would encourage me in the right direction, but always let me know that it was ultimately my choice.
I remember the many family vacations, camp outs, and trips to the cabin. It must have been a real pain for Mom to do a lot of those things because of the constant pain she was in, but I don’t ever remember her complaining. She knew how much it meant to us kids, and so she just gritted her teeth and did what she could.
I remember Mom, fixing lunches for all us kids every morning before we would go to school. They weren’t the greatest but they filled the hollow spot in my stomach. I always wanted to eat school lunch with the other kids but Mom let me know that we couldn’t afford school lunches and that was good enough for me.
I remember Mom teaching preschool in the house to help pay the bills. I can’t remember how many years she did this, but I remember when I stayed home sick from school that I remember listening to Mom as she would work with those little kids. Like I said before, she had a lot of patience.
I remember when Mom started into the latter part of her life she loved to hold Raquelle and Mindy even though you would have to help her because she didn’t have the strength on her own. You could feel the love she had for her grand kids. I only wish she could have lived long enough that my children could have gotten to know her, but that too will come in time.
When I got out of the Army, I can remember taking turns with Gerri, staying with Mom while Dad worked part time at the Credit Union. Dad needed a little time away from Mom and it was good for me to be able to spend this time with Mom. It was a time I was able to pay back my Mom for all the grief I had caused her. I would sit by her bed and talk to her about anything and everything. I would get her lunch, give her the many pills she had to take, and yes even put her on the bedpan and clean her up afterwards. She always felt bad when I had to help her with those personal needs, but I really didn’t mind because I knew she had changed many a diaper for me when I was a baby.
I know there are many more memories of Mom I could relate but I know JoAnne wants this information now, so I guess I’ll call it quits. In closing I would have to say that even though Mom wasn’t a strong woman physically, she was a pillar of strength in my life, and I thank the Lord each night for the opportunity I had of having her for my Mother.
JoAnne
Being the youngest in the family, I only had a little less than 23 years to be with Momma. I remember her being home for us after school or if we ever got sick at school and needed to go home she was always there. I remember one birthday party that she planned for me when I was in elementary school. We had some fun games outside and had a great time. One Christmas she fixed up and repainted and made doll clothes for a doll to give to me. It was a special doll for me.
She always made the effort to come to activities in which I was involved at school or at church. She taught me how to sew and helped and encouraged me in my artwork. When she taught nursery school in our home she let me go on the field trips. Once we went to a farm of a man that Dad had helped with his taxes. He had rabbits on his farm and I really wanted one so Momma and Daddy let me get one. Momma encouraged me in developing my musical abilities too. She started to teach me how to play the piano and then let me take piano lessons. She didn’t push me into doing it. I only wanted to take piano lessons during the summer months because I didn’t want them to interfere with school (actually I didn’t want to have to be in a recital), so that is what they let me do. When I was asked to do posters or other artwork Momma would give me suggestions and help me to do my best.
Later, since I was the only child at home at times, (I believe I was attending the U at the time) I took Momma to pool therapy at the University of Utah hospital. She would have me go in the pool with her to help her with her exercises. I also took her to some of her doctors appointments when Dad could not do it. I helped her with her exercises for her knee after her surgery. I remember that it was very painful for her to try to get her knee to bend. I would help her to bend it a little bit further each day. It made her cry out in pain sometimes, but she never gave up. As a teen I couldn’t understand how painful it really was, but when I was in labor and found myself crying out in pain, I remembered Momma and finally understood all she went through.
I remember Momma going on all our family trips, even going camping in the Uintas when it was hard for her to get around. It wasn’t until Momma just couldn’t go when Dad and I would go on trips to the southern Utah parks together, one time just the two of us and another time with Cory and Lori. She loved going with the family to the cabin in Millcreek. We would go for all the summer holidays, even when she was in her wheelchair or on crutches. Dad was always so supportive of her and always helped her do whatever she wanted to do and go wherever she wanted to go. I admire that so much about their relationship. They were so loving and kind to each other.
When I was in college and President on my chapter of Lambda Delta Sigma, Momma made the effort to come to a Mother/Daughter activity at the Institute Building, even though it was very difficult for her to come. She always made that extra effort to support us!
In my senior year in High School, I was called to teach the Sunbeams in Primary, the same age group that Momma taught in Junior Sunday School. She helped me to prepare my lessons and to understand how to best handle the children in the class. She encouraged me to know the lesson material well enough that I didn’t need the lesson manual. I don’t think I was ever able to do it as well as Momma, but I tried. When I started college I felt like I didn’t have time to teach Primary anymore so was released but was soon called to lead the music in Junior Sunday School. Momma helped me prepare visual aids to use for singing time and helped with my other preparations. I still have some of the things she gave me to use or helped me to make. She helped me start a picture file when I was in Mutual which I have continued to add to and use frequently.
When I started teaching school I would ask for her advice with some of the problems I had. Although soon after I started teaching she had her stroke, she still seemed to be able to give me guidance and help with these challenges.
When I got married, Momma felt like she could not come to the temple unless Daddy could be there to help her. She didn’t have confidence in anyone else’s ability to handle the wheelchair. Since Daddy was unable to be there, she was not there either. But they were both at the reception, Momma in her wheelchair and Daddy by her side. It must have been difficult for her to be there the whole time for pictures before and then the whole two to two-and-a-half hours of the reception, but she seemed to enjoy greeting friends and family.
After we married we lived in Grandmere’s and Grandpere’s home for the three months before we moved to Denver. Momma let me take the piano since she couldn’t play it anymore. It was wonderful to have it in our home. Since we didn’t have a washer and dryer we would go to visit Momma and Daddy and do our laundry while visiting. Craig and I left for Denver about the time Glen and Lynne left for Detroit. Byron and Peggy had just moved out to Jensen. We spent a short time near the Dinosaur Monument visiting Byron and Peggy at their apartment. We then went on to Denver and called Momma and Daddy from the motel where we were staying. I believe that Geraldine was there visiting when I called. I had a good talk with Momma, but apparently as soon as we finished talking Momma had a stroke, was taken to the hospital and passed away that night. When Craig and I arrived at our duplex the next morning to meet the movers, there was a telegram stating that Momma had died. I left the next day by car to attend the funeral. Craig was unable to attend because he had to start his new job.
I’ll always remember Momma for her patience and her perseverance and her many talents that she used in the service of others.
Visit FamilySearch to learn more about Adele Marion Kerr and other ancestors. Also visit the Thomas Tolman Family Organization to find out how you can get more involved in family history.